ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've "found your aesthetic".
It's beige. It's always beige.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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