ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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