ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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