ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you.
It's a debt collector.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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