ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Passive income takes a surprising amount of active effort. Mostly explaining it at parties…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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