ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years.
He has, however, given out about forty.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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