ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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