ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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