ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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