ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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