ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 30 MAY 2017
You said "that's so me" about a horoscope.
It also described 600 million other people and a goldfish.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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