ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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