ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- AI agrees with you more than any human ever has. That's not wisdom. That's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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