ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline.
It has the growth rate of a fern in a windowless bathroom, and about the same future.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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