ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 28 JANUARY 2018
The best time to start saving was twenty years ago.
The second-best time was also twenty years ago. You missed both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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