ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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