ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "that's so me" about a horoscope.
It also described 600 million other people and a goldfish.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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