ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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