ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Age is just a number.
So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than your salary.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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