ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 5 FEBRUARY 2019
The weekend is two days long.
Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're paid for one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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