ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad.
The news is still bad. Your eyes are warmer. So is your overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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