ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once.
They'll merge. You'll be the one let go.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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