ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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