ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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