ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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