ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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