ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Wealth is built slowly. Debt is built quickly. And it's hereditary.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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