ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English language.
Then they renamed it. The sentence survived.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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