ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being single means nobody steals your duvet.
It also means the duvet is the only witness to your life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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