ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 14 FEBRUARY 2025
Remember when you stayed up late on purpose?
Now you're up at 3am because your knee filed a complaint.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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