ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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