ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You quit your job to "find yourself".
Found you. You're on your parents' sofa, and the Wi-Fi password has been changed.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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