ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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