ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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