ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 15 MARCH 2026
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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