ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
True love is choosing the same person every day.
They're choosing, daily, whether to mention your chewing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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