ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 444
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