ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday is a perfectly normal day.
You've got about two thousand more of them. Count them.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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