ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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