ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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