ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
You took it in 2016. You've been sitting down since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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