ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake.
The standing still was flawless. The getting up took a team, a run-up and a noise you'd never made before.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- The losers stay in office until January. It's the only job where being fired…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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