ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good.
The studio has a 100% chance of your money.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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