ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you're "so busy" this week.
Your screen time says eleven hours a day. Busy is one word for it. Scrolling is the other.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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