ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You put "open to work" on LinkedIn.
Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were bots. The sixth was your ex, checking you're doing worse.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- The losers stay in office until January. It's the only job where being fired…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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