ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The battle pass costs £9.99 a season.
Your childhood cost nothing and had better rewards.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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