ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- The documentary is unfiltered. It took seven people to remove the filter.
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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