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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION FRIDAY, 30 SEPTEMBER 1960
Kids grow up so fast.
Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and you age a decade.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
  2. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
  3. Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
  4. You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
  5. You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
  6. You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
  7. Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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