ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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