ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Inside every older person is a younger person.
The younger person is furious about the knees.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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